Physical and Emotional Baggage
by ThReE gIrLs WiTh PoCkY
Summary: Gaara-kun, why do you carry around that gourd all the time? . . . Doesn't it get heavy?" Sakura asked. What was his answer? He didn't know.


Hello everyone!

I hope you enjoy this story, it was a bit spur of the moment. I'm sorry for any errors . I don't own Naruto. Please read and review!

chu!

nakima-chan

Gaara sat on his roof, unable to sleep, watching the village vigilantly

Gaara sat on his roof, unable to sleep, watching the village vigilantly. The breeze swayed and he was thinking of something that he had been asked that day. A question asked by Haruno Sakura.

She was staying in his village for the week, tending to his wounds. That's right; the high and mighty Gaara had gotten wounded. Don't ask that story is for later.

She had been training with the Hokage for about a year, so of course she was especially skilled with medicine.

His thoughts went back to that afternoon, during their daily check up.

* * *

"_You're healing well Gaara-kun! You'll be as good as new soon! Just don't let me catch you on the roof, your on strict bed rest," the woman with rose tresses warned. Then she smiled warmly as her patient was busily getting himself clothed. He didn't mind that he was half exposed to a woman; he just felt a breeze kicking up._

"_Thank you for taking care of me Haruno-san," Gaara replied politely. _

"_Gaara-kun, I told you that you can call me Sakura-chan," Sakura whined, "Just like Naruto-kun did!"_

"_Naruto . . ." he repeated, "Any word from him lately?"_

_Sakuras' face fell, she obviously felt down at the mention of his absence. Gaara felt like an idiot, why had he brought up such a tender subject?_

"_No, I haven't heard from Naruto-kun at all," Sakura answered, not trying to keep face at all._

"_I'm sorry Haruno-san," Gaara apologized, trying to console her._

"_I'd feel a little better if you called me Sakura-chan."_

"_As you wish, Sakura-chan," Gaara gave her a small grin._

"_Thanks, Gaara-kun," Sakura replied, returning the favor. He resumed to dressing himself, ever since he had become Kazekage his outfit had gotten so much more complicated. After he finished dressing he began to pull his gourd onto his back._

_Soon he finished and was adjusting the last buckle, when he noticed a pair of jade eyes staring at him with inquiry._

"_Is there something wrong?" he asked._

"_Why do you wear that gourd on your back all of the time?" she asked, "Doesn't it get heavy?"_

"_I'm used to it now," he replied._

"_Okay, but why do you always wear it?"_

"_Well, isn't it right for shinobi to be prepared?" Gaara asked, then immediately regretted it when he saw the pout on her face and the tears in her eyes about to fall._

"_You shouldn't answer a question with a question Gaara-kun."_

* * *

Then she walked off in a huff, without another word, just like that. It had bothered him for hours on end. Not just that he had gotten someone so upset, but also the fact that he didn't know why he needed his gourd so much.

During the past year he had changed a lot, thanks to Naruto of course. He no longer gave into the bloodlust. He didn't just 'kill to exist' anymore. He had a purpose in his life now, something worth fighting for.

He had become more caring and at ease. But he was still quiet and to himself.

Did he really just carry it so he wouldn't be unprepared? If someone tried to attack the village he could just use the sand around him right? So that wasn't it.

Was it because he was just used to it? That could be, considering the fact that he couldn't remember a time that he was without it.

Why was it such a big deal anyways? Temari had her fan. Kankuro had his puppet. Why couldn't he have his gourd?

He sighed and leaned back a little, shifting his weight to his arms for support. He tried to clear his head a bit, and try to enjoy the extraordinary breeze of the night.

'_Now, back to the matter at hand,'_ Gaara thought, _'why is it that I carry my gourd? Is it because-' _

"GAARA-KUN, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SNEAKING ONTO THE ROOF?!" Sakura screamed. Gaaras' head turned to find a very much ticked kunoichi exiting a nearby window.

"YOU ARE ON BEDREST," Sakura emphasized, "AS IN YOU REST IN A BED 24/7!"

"Sakura-chan, you are going to wake up my village," Gaara chastised. Apparently the sound of her name calmed Sakura, since instead of continuing to rant; she sat down softly next to him.

"Sorry Gaara-kun," Sakura said, her eyes begging for forgiveness.

"It's alright."

". . ."

". . ."

"So . . ."

"Yes, Sakura-chan," Gaara directed his full attention on her, making her a little self conscious.

"Why are you on the roof again?"

"I'm watching the village," Gaara reply answered.

Silence enveloped the two, like an envelope enveloped a letter.

"I was thinking," the both began.

"You go first," Sakura blushed.

"No, you go first, I insist."

"Well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for this afternoon, I was just a little moody," Sakura began, "That's not all . . ."

"Go ahead," he encouraged.

"I've been thinking that you are very different from the person you were when I met you. You're still strong and to yourself, but now you are calmer. You don't want to kill on a whim. You don't want to hurt others at all, in fact you try your hardest to make others safe, sometimes a little too hard," Sakura eyed his injuries, thinking that if he didn't have his 'impenetrable defense' he would have died.

"And?" Gaara didn't know where she was going with this; all of this was obvious, so why was she saying this now?

"And I just wanted to tell you I think Naruto-kun would be proud of you," she concluded. Gaara was silent, on the outside he was looked for the most part untouched by her words, but really he was deeply moved, "I can just imagine him when he finds out . . . _What? Gaara is the Kazekage?. . . I'm going to catch up to you Gaara! Dattebayo!"_

Both of them laughed hysterically at her impression of their friend.

"You're really quite good at that," Gaara remarked after he had stopped laughing.

"You should see my impression of Lee-san," Sakura laughed, "Now, what was it that you wanted to say?"

Gaara paused for a second, trying to figure out how to explain in words why he did what he did.

"Sakura-chan, I think that I understand why I carry this gourd on my back," Sakuras' face became serious, as she listened to Gaaras' words.

"Do you remember my fight with Uchiha at the Chunin Exams?"

* * *

_Sakura ducked as her sensei fought the enemy, trying_ _not to interfere._

"_Sakura . . . you are to nullify the genjutsu on Naruto and Shikamaru . . . and track down Sasuke . . ."_

**. . .**

_Upon their arrival to where the battle was they found Sasuke, unable to move._

"_Sasuke-kun!"_

**. . .**

"_Die Uchiha Sasuke!" Gaara lunged at Sasukes' limp body._

_Suddenly there was a girl, a girl with a kunai in hand, in between him and his prey._

_Images of his uncle rushed to his mind, and before he new it, he had her pinned to a tree, unable to be freed._

"Yes, I remember," Sakura answered in a whisper.

"Well, that day you were one of the lucky ones," Gaaras' head looked up to the moon, "There were many before you, young and old . . . boys and girls . . . innocent and guilty . . . many that weren't as lucky as you."

Gaara paused.

"I can see them now, every face stricken with fear. I can hear every one of their pleas for life and screams of pain. I can feel their blood splatter my face, my clothes and my hands," Gaara paused, "So much blood that I could bathe in it daily for the rest of my life."

There was silence again.

"That is why I wear my gourd," Gaara finished, "To remind me of my sins. That is why I carry it with me everywhere, so that I never forget."

"Is that all?" Sakuras' voice was almost inaudible, "Is that why you wear the gourd around with you all the time?"

"Yes."

"You're such an idiot!" Sakura screamed, her fist was clenched into a fist, and tears were rushing down her cheeks, "If you just carry it around for emotional baggage, then you are more foolish than Naruto!

"There is nothing you can do about all of those people that you killed; your sulking is never going to bring back their lives! And if you are always brooding then you'll never be a happy person!" Sakura continued to cry.

"Sakura-"

"Promise me that you will let go," Sakura choked, "Promise that you will try your best to let go!"

Gaara stood up slowly and unbuckled the strap to his gourd and placed it on the roof tiling.

"I promise," Gaara declared.

And without warning, Sakura jumped up and gave him a huge hug.

"I'm proud of you Gaara-kun, just like Naruto-kun!"

Owari

Thank you for reading my story! I hope you enjoyed it . . . please review!


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